In the name of love
by Mysteriousreader1990
Summary: Edward is in pain, he feels like he's losing Bella. One night he gets the chance to see into his rival's mind. What he discovers unravels him. Edward/Bella and Bella/Jacob.


**In the name of love...**

 **Edward is in pain, he feels like he's losing Bella. One night he gets the chance to see into his rival's mind. What he discovers unravels him.**

 _Edward POV_

The cold wind blew dust into my eye. I blinked it away as if it was nothing, and went back to staring. It was nothing. Nothing like that bothered us vampires. Trivial in this vast world.

What wasn't trivial to us, was love. Pure, unconditional love, which I had. I had the joy of experiencing such a love. A love that crushes you under it's weight, and lifts you up at the same time. A love that causes you to be your best, and worst self. Love so powerful that you would cross oceans, and crush mountains for. A love that you would die for.

But, so did he, and god, I loathed him for it.

He, the wolf boy, was currently with my love, my Bella. My sole reason for existing was to love this beautiful woman. But I had made a huge mess of things, and now, she was torn between loving me, her fist love, and him her best friend.

I finally shifted from the rock I had perched myself upon when I heard them coming close. We were hiding from a vengeful vampire named Victoria, and he was helping her climb the mountain top. His pungent smell was enough to mask hers, and hopefully throw off the scent of the redhead that was trying to kill her.

I zeroed in on their conversation as they neared, and my heart panged painfully when I heard her laugh. She was never so carefree around me. Another reason why I loathed him.

 _"I wish my life was as carefree as it used to be," Bella sighed_ _wistfully._

He didn't answer her, but he bristled at her comment. She didn't notice, but I could feel his anger. Her life should be carefree, and could be, with him. But she chose to be with me, and live the rest of her existence as a vampire. Something he loathed me for.

Finally I seen her, and I felt like I could breathe again – ironically. He helped her up the last few steps, and she beamed at seeing me. Immediately she dove into my arms and I revelled in her scent for mere moments before she let go. The chill in the air making her tolerance of my icy coldness low.

He had made himself scarce, but not before I caught a glimpse of the sheer heartbreak in his eyes. It floored me. His eyes were haunted. A look I know only too well, for I wore it once. A panic set in then and there. He loved her, and my mind kept teasing – _more then what you do, then what you ever will._

Hours later and we were hunkered down in the small tent that I had purchased. I was crouched in the corner, as far away from Bella as I could possibly go. It had begun to snow, and as the temperature dropped, Bella began to freeze. I had moved as far away from her as I could, but Black was her saving grace. With his supernatural heat he was able to warm her up within minutes. Now they lay in the opposite corner, sharing a sleeping bag, and looking like they belonged together. Oh, how I loathed him.

The first few minutes that passed were unbearably uncomfortable. His guard slipped and for the first time in ages, I could see his jumbled thoughts clearly.

He was unbelieving at first. He was finally able to lie with her. After wanting it for so long, he was finally granted this one wish. His heartbeat became erratic as she shimmied in beside him, then he got a whiff of her honey shampoo, and a great sense of peace, and calmness washed over him.

I had sat stunned at how easy her scent calmed him. To me it was a potent drug, it made me erratic, thirsty, and dangerous, all at the same time. But for him, it brought him great peace.

Oh, how I fucking loathed him.

He then marvelled at her beauty as she fell asleep in his arms. He memorized each of her features, and expressed how much he loved them, and her of course. He was so wrapped up in her that he'd forgotten I was there. His barriers were down, and I had full access to his mind.

 _"You are my world Bella, please don't leave me."_ He had whispered before he had fell into a slumber.

This is where I got to delve deep into his subconscious, into his dreams.

 _We flashed back until he was about three or four years old. Black sat by an old wood house, that had been painted red. It looked shabby, but homely all the same. He sat on the ground playing in some mud. Loud girly laughing came from the garage not to far from him, and Black paused._

 _"Silly girlies," he tutted then he went back to making his mud pie._

 _I snorted in amusement then watched as another "silly girlie" came stomping in his direction. It was Bella. About five years old she was small and innocent looking. She was looking around her at the house she was being forced away from, and didn't notice the small boy and his mud pies. A split second later and she had stomped through them, splashing her and Black._

 _"Silly girlie," he fumed, not even looking up._

 _"Silly boy," she retorted. Then she took stock of the mess she had made, and a blush crept upon her cheeks. "Oh, I'm sorry," she said sitting down in the mess she then began to help._

 _"It's OK," Black said as he finally got to look at her, his eyes widened to the size of saucers as he took in the sight of this pretty girl._

 _"I'm Jake," he said sheepishly, shaking her hand._

 _"Bella," she replied shyly._

 _"That's kind of hard to say," he replied, not even trying to pronounce it. "Can I call you Bells?" she thought for a minute before smiling._

 _"Only if I can call you Jakey," she replied. He_ _shrugged_ _and went back to making his mud pies._

Years and years of them playing together as kids went whizzing by in Black's mind, before it settled onto one where he was, at best guess, ten or eleven.

 _"My mommy is dead, Bells," the child was crying to her down the phone._

 _"I know, Jakey," she replied equally upset. "I am coming to see you, I promise, I made my mom_ _swear_ _it," the boy nodded to the phone and continued to cry._

 _The dream fast forwarded slightly to the two kids_ _standing_ _beside the same garage as before. Both were dressed in black and wore distressed expressions._

 _"Mom says this is my last visit. She had a fight with daddy, and won't let me come_ _any-more_ _," Bella cried, and Black freaked._

 _"You can't go Bells, I need you," he gripped her small hand tightly._

 _"I have to," she replied dully._

 _"I hate you!" he cried out. She stared at him horrified. "Everybody always leaves me. Go on then leave!" he yelled then began storming off._

 _"Please Jakey, I need you," young Bella cried out, but he ignored her and continued on._

 _Unfortunately the dream followed him as he stormed into his house. His dad, who was unaware of his young son's inner anguish beckoned him over. He complied and walked to where his father was sitting._

 _"Jacob, your mother left this to you, in the hopes that you find someone you love enough to give to. It's her engagement ring."_

 _But young Black looked at it horrified, and rapidly backed away from the offending item. "I don't want it!" he yelled. "I'm never falling in love. People just end up leaving!" he cried then ran back out the door._

 _He ran and ran until he reached the cliffs of first beach, where he stood and cried._

 _"Bella," he cried out to the wind. It was the single most heartbreaking cry I had ever witnessed, and it was an image that would haunt me forever._

 _They flashed forward several years, and Jacob had grown exponentially. He and his father were standing outside their house waiting on someone. Black impatiently checked his watch and looked back up to the road. His waiting finally paid off when Charlie's police cruiser pulled up and Charlie stepped out._

 _"Sorry I'm late, but I got the most wonderful news," he beamed. He reached them and he clapped a hand on Black's shoulder. "Happy birthday Jake, Bells is coming home," he announced joyfully. A real smile lit up Black's face._

 _The dream fast forwarded again. This time to when Jacob had phased. I cringed at the fury that was in the young wolfs mind. He was in human form, standing on the cliffs edge once again._

 _"Bella," his words were caught up in the wind once again as he whispered them this time. The same anguished look was worn. Then as if she had heard him, she appeared. He watched_ _horrified_ _as she jumped from the cliffs edge and straight into the choppy sea._

 _"Bella," he screamed her name. Terror overcame him as she failed to return to the surface. He dove in after her and pulled her out._

 _I saw for the first time through Black's eyes, Bella's lifeless form, lying on the damp sand as he desperately pumped on her chest. Saying her name over and over and begging her to come back to him._

 _When she began to breath again the relief and love that Black showed_ _her_ _knocked me side ways._

I pulled himself from Black's dream and rushed out of the tent. The snow swirling around my hard shell mirrored my own swirling emotions. The mutt's love for Bella, that I had witnessed, was overwhelming.

I now began to truly doubt whether I loved her more. I had abandoned her after all. I had wanted to keep her safe of course. After she had been injured by me, I no longer trusted myself to be in her presence any longer.

Something I knew Black would never do. I knew deep down Black would never hurt her so badly. And I loathed him for being the better choice for my Bella.

So with my heart breaking, I made my final decision, and then went for a long walk.

~#~#~#~

In the morning, whilst Bella slept, I decided to approach Black to talk. He was less then enthused but followed me anyway.

We walked a short distance from the tent, and I noticed that the further we went, the more anxious Black became about leaving Bella.

"This is far enough," he growled. Checking over his shoulder he relaxed upon seeing that the tent was still in view. "Right, let's get on with it. I have vampires to kill today," I ignored his tone and decided to get straight to the point.

"Do you love Bella?" I asked, he blanched.

"What sort of question is that?" he asked irritably as he glanced over his shoulder.

"A pretty simple one," I sneered. His head snapped back to me and he smirked, pleased that he had riled me up. I pinched the bridge of my nose to calm myself and he rolled his eyes.

"You're the mind reader. You tell me?" he snarled.

"You let your guard down last night and I saw your dreams."

"You just can't fucking help yourself, leech," he snarled. I ignored him and ploughed on. I had to see this through. "I know that you love her, very much, but now I know that you love her much more then I ever have, or ever will."

This declaration stopped him in his tracks, and he looked at me like I had gone insane. I had, love made me lose my mind.

"What?" his tone was unsure now. He was confused.

"I have hurt her, really badly. Much worse than you think."

"What are you talking about?" he growled fiercely. I saw fury burn in his eyes and for the first time I was intimidated by Black.

"On her 18th birthday, the day before I left her. My family threw a party for her, and she cut her finger opening a present. Jasper was in the room and being new to vegetarianism, he went into a frenzy at the smell of her blood. In order to protect her, I pushed her out of the way. But I forgot my own strength, and Bella went crashing into a table. A glass vase shattered and sliced her arm open." I stopped for a breather, and was met by a ferocious punch to the jaw from Black. I wasn't hurt, but Black's hand was broken and bloody.

"I knew you would hurt her!" he roared. "I knew you were too dangerous," he threw another punch but I dodged it.

"I know, that's why I left!" I yelled back.

"But you were too weak and caved," he spat.

"A decision I regret now." he froze at my revelation. His body vibrating with the urge to phase. He stared me down as I continued. "I have seen now, that despite your nature, you would never in a million life times hurt her like that."

"Never," he agreed.

"Even though it was an accident, I still caused her harm, and I am no longer sure she's safe with me. I am going to force her to decide once and for all to make a choice."

"No." he said taking me by surprise. "The last time you did that she almost died," his eyes were wide and fearful, and I gulped down my shame.

"This time I am putting her in a situation that forces her to choose. It will completely be her decision."

"What situation?"

"Not a dangerous one, I promise," he looked at me wearily.

"And what do you get out of all this?"

"The hope that after everything, she still chooses to be with me."

"If that happens I will be right back to square one."

"That's a risk you'll have to be willing to take." He paced for a few minutes before coming to his decision.

"OK, what's the plan? What do I have to do?" he said finally.

"Just follow my lead," I replied. "It's better off if your reactions are totally real. Just don't cave too soon. There will be a time when you know that she has fully chosen you."

"How do you know that?"

"I have a hunch." I shrugged then walked off abruptly, leaving Black to mull over his decision.

~#~#~#~

 _ **Jacob POV**_

I had no idea what the leech was planning, but if it worked. I would have everything I ever wanted since I was a child.

I wondered around the area aimlessly. I was supposed to be scouting for Victoria, or any stray newborn that she had created. Instead my mind mulled over the dreams I had last night. In particular the one of my mom's funeral.

I had told Bella that I hated her, one of the worst days of my life and I pushed my best friend away. I still hated myself for doing that to her.

After doing two laps of the surrounding area I decided to walk back to the camp-site. I wanted to spend sometime with Bella before I had to leave to fight.

 _"You have a list?" Bella asked curiously._ I slowed down when I heard her sweet voice.

 _"Each one of them I spent with you."_ Eugh, that guy made me want to barf. " _The number one being the night you agreed to marry me."_ I froze. No. No way, she couldn't have.

My heart began to beat erratically, and I struggled to control my wolf as pain hit me like a freight train.

 _"Mrs Cullen,"_ he cooed. My mind seemed to snap out of it's trance and I stormed forward.

"You're marrying him?" I snarled.

She turned to me wide eyed "Jacob?" she whispered. "You knew he was there?" she said turning to him.

"I am so done with you," I growled. Her eyes widened to the size of saucers. I turned my back on her and began walking off.

I heard her stumble in her haste to stop me. "Jacob please," she begged desperately.

"No," I replied stubbornly. I heard her trip over a branch, and I rushed to stop her from falling.

"See, you still care," she smiled triumphantly.

"I am still done with this," I replied. I released her from my tight hold and began to walk away again.

"No, you can't be," she stammered, "Jake you're my best friend." I stopped and turned to her.

"That's not enough, not any-more." My heart was breaking completely and I was beginning to lose my resolve. I needed to leave now.

"I...I just..kiss me!" she cried desperately.

I whipped round and stared into her eyes. They seemed uncertain, scared. "You don't mean that. You're just trying to get me to stay," I replied quietly.

"Yes I do," she replied slightly more confident. But I could still hear the fear in her voice.

She moved closer to me, and I began to tremble. I needed to go now. The fight was about to start, and I was worried that I would cave in to her.

She tilted her head, stood on her tip toes and brushed her lips with mine. I began tremble harder. She pulled away, but it wasn't enough. I grabbed the back of her head and pulled her tighter to me. I crashed my lips back onto hers and began to kiss her desperately.

She stood frozen to the spot for a moment, shocked that I had reciprocated her kiss. But after a moment, she was kissing me as hungrily as I was her. Her tongue darted out and pleaded for better access. I complied, and moaned as her tongue met mine and deepened the kiss. I never wanted this to stop, but it had to. I came back to my senses and broke off the kiss. I stepped back from her and simultaneously pushed her away gently.

"Jacob, please," she begged. I shook my head.

"I can't Bells, it's still not enough. I know that you'll still go crawling back to him," I began to walk away, but she grabbed onto me, and blocked my path.

"Please," she cried. Tears began to slip down her face, and I longed to comfort her.

"No, this – whatever the hell this is – is over." I stepped around her and began to walk off once again.

"Please Jakey, I need you," she cried out, and I froze on the spot. Memories flooded my mind, memories of a ten and twelve year old Jakey and Bells. I remembered Cullens plan, the thought of her marrying him had driven it from my mind. This was it, the signal.

"You haven't called me that in seven years," I replied turning back to her.

"Your mother's funeral," she replied, wiping the tears from her eyes. "I told you that Renee was stopping me from coming back, and you told me you hated me," she cried.

"I didn't think you remembered that."

"I should've stopped you from walking off that day. I should of begged you not to leave me. But I didn't. I am not going to make the same mistake twice. I am begging you, please don't leave me. I need you,"

I shook my head still unsure, I didn't want her to need me, I needed her to want me.

"Jacob, I – "

"No don't say it," I said stopping her. "Don't say it because you're scared. Bella you're it for me. There's no-one else I am going to want, you're my endgame. Don't say it unless I'm yours," I begged.

She stepped forward slowly keeping eye contact the entire time. There was no more fear, instead, her eyes burned with passion, desire, and love. I swallowed the lump on my throat as she brushed her lips on mine again.

"I love you, Jakey," she smiled. I sighed in relief.

"I love you too, Bells," I replied passionately. Grabbing her close we resumed our passionate kissing. We were finally together, and I couldn't have been happier.

~#~#~#~

Edward was a vampire, a blood drinker, a predator, and today, Edward became a broken man.

~#~#~#~

 **A.N. This wee one-shot popped into my mind when I was trying to sleep. So I had to write it down, and get it out there. Hope you all like it.**


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